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[:.FAVORITE QUOTES.:]

8-11-03
"Since we no longer have the right to shoot trespassers on sight, we now reserve the right to viciously mock their clothes and haircuts. Until they cry and run home to their mommies. Long live the first amendment."
-Daniel Hill

2-5-04
"Maybe it's not the Grim Reaper. Maybe it's the Grim Rapper. Maybe it's just some guy that comes for ya and goes like 'Yo yo yo! It's time to go. You've lost all your fluids, your vitals sapped. Time to get ready for the big dirt nap.'"
-Robin Williams

2-19-04
"So Maine is cold. I think it was named Maine, which I believe is Indian for "Cold as your girlfriends feet in December". Pretty, but chilly."
-Melissa McCue

5-27-04
"If you try to take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a nonworking cat."
-Douglas Adams

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Thursday, March 27, 2003
 
MIDNIGHT BOREDOM
aka
THE IDEAS OF A TIRED MIND

Late night at work. I'm struck with an idea that sounds at least somewhat interesting. We all know what free association is, right? Someone gives a word or phrase (in this case, ME) and you give the first word or phrase that comes to your mind. We'll try it as an experiment and see how and where it goes. If it goes well, I'll do a new word a week, or something like that. Ready? The word is:

POPCORN



Tuesday, March 25, 2003
 
WORDS OF REMEMBRANCE FOR DENISE
This is the eulogy my Dad delivered at Mom's funeral:

Last night at the conclusion of the wake for Denise, my cousin Alexis told me to go home and get some sleep. I told her that I couldn't since I was giving the eulogy today. "You are?" she remarked. "Absolutely", I said, "It will be my last chance to get even."

When I was assisting Denise in selecting readings and preparing this funeral liturgy, I told her that I wanted to do this "Words of Remembrance". And being true to form, she proceeded to provide me a list of 3 items she wanted me to cover. (Pull out list)

The first is actually a very simple task. She wanted me to explain her love for butterflies. But I think most people can easily understand and identify with her love. In a butterfly, Denise saw many similarities to herself and her own life. A butterfly does not start its life soaring through the air. It starts as a rather inconspicuous creature that after a while of crawling about, often struggling to stay alive, retreats into a special place. Here in this cocoon it is nurtured until it springs forth a new and most beautiful creature.

It is no surprise that Christianity uses this symbol to symbolize the dying and rising we are each called to experience. And it is obvious that Denise had this experience. In fact, her frequent rising above and beyond all the hindrances her many illnesses caused was as remarkable as a butterfly spreading its wings and flying about. Whenever I see a butterfly, I will always think of Denise and the transformation she made into becoming a most beautiful creature of God.

The 2nd thing on Denise's list was to share a piece of wisdom she greatly treasured and tried to live out. (Pull out strip) When this appeared in the newspaper, she cut it out and saved it so she could reflect on it from time to time. It comes from one of the world's greatest philosophers, a poor little guy, often misunderstood, by the name of Ziggy. Let me share this with you...
Life can be a real trip! It's a journey full of choices. experiences, and new meetings... Sometimes it can throw you so many twists and turns, you lose your way. And sometimes on path ends and we have to turn around and find another. But in all my travels, I've discovered one very important thing about life's journey: Where we begin, where we are now, and where we end up really doesn't matter. What matters most are the loved ones we meet along the way and who make the journey with us.

The 3rd thing on Denise's list was actually more of a small family matter. Denise was very disappointed to find out that all those scenes in the movies where the family gathers after someone has died for the infamous "reading of the will" are just stereotypical fiction. It just doesn't happen that way, so she asked if I would read this piece she had originally planned to have in her will. It says:
To my daughter Cathy, who I promised to remember in my will, "Hi there!"

With all that said and done, I guess it finally is my turn.
First, thanks to Fr. Mark and the other clergy present...

In the past few day, many of you here, along with other family members and friends have offered me, Ellen, Chris and Cathy & Jim your words of comfort & condolence. For these we are very grateful. But the other thing you have shared with us and allowed us to share with you has been our memories of this magnificent woman.

Some memories have been of her kindness and generosity. Some have been of her courage in enduring her many years of health problems and suffering and how not even those could not hinder her joyful spirit. Some memories have been of the blessings she gave us by being a most caring, trusted and loyal friend. Some of these memories were beautiful stories of happy times and laughing. Some were the recalling of rather humorous incidents. (And don't worry, Denise... I didn't share any of those embarrassing stories about you.) Some memories were of her warmth and affection. And some were of her greatest capacity, her deep faith in God.

I've been told that somehow these memories will help comfort us in our grief over such a great loss, and that these memories will be how we hold on to Denise in our minds and our hearts. While I am very grateful for all these beautiful memories that come from our long and beautiful life together, I know it is not the memories of Denise that will be how I, how we, hold on to her. Of all the lessons about life that God has tried to teach me, so many of these lessons coming from this person who was my best friend, the one thing I am certain of is this: The gifts I, and each of us, received from Denise are much, much more than mere memories.

I would wager heavily that not only I, but also most everyone here had been changed for the better because of our relationships with Denise. I am not the same person I was before meeting her. Yes, I know some of you are probably thinking "Thank God for that!"
But, I am not and you are not the same.

Denise touched us all in ways that go far beyond pleasant remembrances. Her Faith, and her Love will go on because she did more than demonstrate these virtues in the way she lived. She brought these Gifts of the Spirit to life in each one of us.

We all saw that beautiful relationship she had with God. My faith in God is so much stronger, because Denise helped me learn what it was like to have a true faith. Hers was so great that, not only did I admire it, I wanted to imitate much of it in my own life. Denise used to say that she had some of her best conversations with God while she was in the shower. She also said there were times when during some of these conversations she let God have a good piece of her mind. I, having been on the receiving end of more than one of these types of exchanges with Denise, can tell you it can be a very motivating conversation. (Yeah, me too. -Obee) I doubt if God changed what He was doing after getting one of Denise's dressing-downs. But I know He never left her side and Denise knew that beyond a doubt. She showed us that extraordinary faith in how she faced life and what she did with her life.

Denise helped me become a good husband, father, friend and Christian man because of what I learned from her about what it truly means to love another. If we were to read Paul's famous letter to the Corinthians on Love, we could easily substitute Denise's name wherever the word Love appears:

Denise is patient and kind; never jealous.
Denise is slow to anger... well maybe most of the time on that one.
Denise is never boastful or conceited; she is never rude or selfish.
Denise does not take offense and is not resentful. Denise takes no pleasure in other people's sins but delights in the truth.
Denise is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, to endure whatever comes.

I cannot help but be a much better person having known and lived over 31 years with Denise. I have three children who are indeed very wonderful people because of what they learned from being at their mother's side as infants and as small children and from their conversations with her as teens and young adults. I know they made their mother very proud.

All the calls, notes, visits, meals, cards, emails, prayers, support, help and offers of help the kids and I received during the last several months of Denise's life tell me something: You too were touched and changed by the life of Denise.

I know of no higher honor or greater tribute than to be able to say, what I can say now:
"Denise, a part of who you were, lives on in me and I am thankful that it does because I am a better person because of it."



Thursday, March 20, 2003
 
HE LIVES!!
After a rather interesting conversation on the phone last night, I know at least one person around here (besides me) will be highly amused by this.
"Looord have MERCY!!"

* Jesus said: "Love thy neighbor." (Matthew 22:39)
* Elvis said: "Don't be cruel." (RCA, 1956)

* Jesus is the Lord's shepherd.
* Elvis dated Cybill Shepherd.

* Jesus was part of the Trinity.
* Elvis' first band was a trio.

* Jesus walked on water. (Matthew 14:25)
* Elvis surfed. (Blue Hawaii, Paramount, 1965)

* Jesus' entourage, the Apostles, had 12 members.
* Elvis' entourage, the Memphis Mafia, had 12 members.

* Jesus was resurrected.
* Elvis had the famous 1968 "comeback" TV special.

* Jesus said, "If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink." (John 7:37)
* Elvis said, "Drinks on me!" (Jailhouse Rock, MGM, 1957)

* Jesus fasted for 40 days and nights.
* Elvis had irregular eating habits. (e.g. 5 banana splits for breakfast)

* Jesus is a Capricorn. (December 25)
* Elvis is a Capricorn. (January 8)

* Matthew was one of Jesus' many biographers. (The Gospel According to Matthew)
* Neil Matthews was one of Elvis' many biographers. (Elvis: A Golden Tribute)

* "[Jesus] countenance was like lightning, and his raiment white as snow." (Matthew 28:3)
* Elvis wore snow-white jumpsuits with lightning bolts.

* Jesus lived in state of grace in a Near Eastern land.
* Elvis lived in Graceland in a nearly eastern state.

* Mary, an important woman in Jesus' life, had an Immaculate Conception.
* Priscilla, an important woman in Elvis' life, went to Immaculate Conception High School.

* Jesus was first and foremost the Son of God.
* Elvis first recorded with Sun Studios, which today are still considered to be his foremost recordings.

* Jesus was the lamb of God.
* Elvis had mutton chop sideburns.

* Jesus' Father is everywhere.
* Elvis' father was a drifter, and moved around quite a bit.

* Jesus was a carpenter.
* Elvis' favorite high school class was wood shop.

* Jesus wore a crown of thorns.
* Elvis wore Royal Crown hair styler.

* Jesus H. Christ has 12 letters.
* Elvis Presley has 12 letters.

* No one knows what the "H" in "Jesus H. Christ" stood for.
* No one was really sure if Elvis' middle name was "Aron" or "Aaron".

* Jesus is often depicted in pictures with a halo that looks like a gold plate.
* Elvis' face is often depicted on a plate with gold trim and sold through TV.

* Jesus said: "Man shall not live by bread alone."
* Elvis liked his sandwiches with peanut butter and bananas.



Tuesday, March 18, 2003
 
**HORRIBLESCOPES**
Aries:
(March 21-April 19)--You are sick and tired of all this personal hygiene nonsense. Stop combing your hair and brushing your teeth. Stop bathing entirely, and give up deodorants and colognes. You'll find out who your real friends are. Tonight: Hey! Where is everybody?

Taurus:
(April 20-May 20)--You have a rash that makes the worst case of poison ivy on record look like a mosquito bite. You go to the doctor and he gives you a tube of ointment. You are about to learn the four most beautiful words in the English language. "Apply to affected area." Tonight: Buy a 55-gallon drum of the stuff.

Gemini:
(May 21-June 20)--Don't worry about all the "what ifs." Go for "who cares?" In really tight situations, go for "who gives a flying fart!" You will be surprised how this simple change in attitude will help you through the day. Tonight: Take a hike.

Cancer:
(June 21-July 22)--You have all kinds of questions in your mind, but you are afraid to ask because you think people will think you are stupid. Go ahead. Ask questions. No matter how stupid the question, Crab Cakes, you will never exceed the expectations of people around you. Tonight: Inquiring minds want to know.

Leo:
(July 23-Aug. 22)--You've really done it this time, Mane Head. You made such an idiot of yourself with that last screw up that Jerry Springer (himself!) will be calling. But hold out for your own show. The producers would love it! Tonight: A ratings bonanza.

Virgo:
(Aug. 23-Sept. 22)--Moderation? That's for the faint of heart, not for a charismatic Virgo like you. You take it to the limit. And so will the judge. Your trial will generate headlines all over the country. Ask LEO if there's a shot for you on the Springer show! Tonight: Fifteen minutes of fame, coming your way.

Libra:
(Sept. 23-Oct 22)--Here's some advice on your love life, Scale Head. If you are single, consider plastic surgery. If you are married, consider plastic surgery for your mate. Either way, you'll be pleased with the improvement. Tonight: A nose job is just the beginning.

Scorpio:
(Oct. 23-Nov. 21)--Your job sucks rocks, but don't worry about it. Your next job will suck just as badly…with less pay, and no benefits. And your new boss has just voted himself a 100% pay increase. Welcome to corporate America! Tonight: And he gets stock options, too.

Sagittarius:
(Nov. 22-Dec. 21)--Success, power, influence, a great love life. This could be a great day…but not for you, schmucko. Get real! That kind of stuff only happens in the movies, and only if the screenwriters are using controlled substances. Face it. You're a loser. Tonight: Go to the movies…alone.

Capricorn:
(Dec. 22-Jan. 19)--Hey, Goat! I think I've figured out your problem. You've heard of the Midas Touch? Well, you've got the Water Treatment Plant Touch. Don't ask for an explanation. You really don't want to know. Tonight: Wash your hands.

Aquarius:
(Jan. 20-Feb. 18)--If you are single, you're about to step into a definitive relationship. If you are married, you will step into places in your relationship that you never thought you'd achieve. Either way, make sure to clean your shoes. That stuff is hard to get off. Tonight: Ooh! Squishy!

Pisces:
(Feb. 19-March 20)--For you, today is a worst-case scenario. It doesn't matter if you're an innocent bystander. No one will believe you. You take ineptitude to a whole new level. You're clumsy and clueless--you fall down a lot and you don't know why. Tonight: Run away and hide.

Note: HORRIBLESCOPES have no basis in fact, scientific or otherwise. They are written on old Royal typewriters by 37 monkeys who have been locked up in a room for almost six weeks with nothing to live on except corn chips, sardines, peanut butter, and prunes. Read HORRIBLESCOPES at your own risk.



Monday, March 17, 2003
 
RESULTS (urgle)
Had the fencing tournament yesterday morning. Bit of a low turnout for a Cleveland area event. Men's Foil we only had 11 entries. Saber we had 8 entries. (This is actually a good sized saber event around here.) Men's Epee had 10 entries, Women's Foil had 6, and Women's Epee had 5. Normally, a Cleveland area event had about two to three times the number of entries we had (except for saber). My results:
In foil, I ended up 10th. I had a tough pool, and too much mental "white noise" going on in my head. I just couldn't get a good focus going. I fenced okay, it just wasn't "okay" enough.
Saber was a bit better. I finished 6th. I am sporting a couple of bruises on the arm at the moment, but not as many as I had last night. I had a lot of fun, so I may keep doing saber occasionally.



Friday, March 14, 2003
 
I'M BACK
(my life update part 2)

Before continuing with the update about last week, I guess an introduction is in order. Actually, it's really in order since the person I'm introducing plays a large part of the rest of the events of last week. Some of you may have noticed a new person, going by the name Aerrigad, commenting and giving me a hard time. Well, as of last week, said person is my girlfriend. (She says "Hi" to everyone, BTW.) A *very* brief history between the two of us (I'll go into more detail at another time just giving you fair warning Dear :)): Aerrigad and I met about 8 1/2 years ago, during our freshman year at Ashland U. Became rather close friends. I left after a year, but we stayed friends. With distance and time, it faded some. Recently though, (since my car accident, actually) we've started growing closer again. After a few conversations and thinking on both our parts, we've decided to give us a shot as a couple. So I've now got someone very special in my life.
And that's the condensed Reader's Digest version of her and I. Now back to last week.
After everything that happened with the wake and funeral and everything, I had planned to take a couple of days off of work and spend some time with Aerrigad. On Tuesday we headed out to the mall and just bummed around there for awhile, then went and visited her father. He and I tormented her for a little bit :), then we continued on to Columbus, for a Fat Tuesday mass and dinner. Dinner was pretty good.
Wednesday was basically another lazy day. We went out for lunch at a *really* good Chinese place (P.F. Changs; if you've got one near you, go eat there.) then went and saw Shanghai Knights. After SK, we played at GameWorks for awhile. GameWorks is a big video game parlor. Lots of fun stuff to do. (Along the left, under the quote of the day, I've added something new, "Current Mood Ring Color". Basically, for gits and shiggles, Aerri and I each got one when at GameWorks. Just threw up on the blog for the heck of it.) Played there for awhile, then headed back to Aerri's place. It was still a little early, and we decided to watch a movie. One of the people she shares a house with owns the live action version of Scooby Doo. Neither of us had seen it, so I threw it in out of curiousity. OH MY GOD WAS IT BAD!!! It is the *WORST* movie I have seen in a *LOOOONG* time. After about 15-20 minutes, I was ready to turn in off and try something else. But nooooooo. *Somebody*, for some reason, felt the need to torture me, and made me sit through the entire thing. (I'm still trying to figure out a way to erase the experience from my mind and memories. I also need to figure out something to take appropriate revenge with too.)
Thursday, Aerri had to go back to work. I borrowed her car for the day and headed home to pick up some more clothes and pick up my paycheck. Went and fenced at the club for a little bit, then headed back down.
Friday was another day of work. I hung around her place reading for awhile. We went out to dinner for her break (just McDonalds, nothing fancy). Went back to her place and watched a couple of movies. Picked her up from work, then we went and played at GameWorks again for awhile.
Saturday I was supposed to come home. We hung around for awhile at her place, then came up and met my younger sister for dinner. After dinner, Aerri and I went and shot pool for a little while, then she dropped me off at my place.
Sunday I came back to work. Yay. **sounds of a head hitting a desktop echo**
So that's the rest of last week.
This weekend I've got a fencing tournament. It's the club's March of Dimes benefit. Just for the heck of it, I'm also fencing saber, in addition to my normal foil. I'm expecting to total get beat like the proverbial redheaded stepchild, but I don't really care. I'm doing it totally for fun. My results don't really matter to me, so it'll be really interesting to see what happens. Foil I should do pretty well in. I'll let y'all know how it goes.
Bedtime for me now.
"Good night Mrs. Calabash, wherever you are."



Wednesday, March 12, 2003
 
WORKING AGAIN
Cool!! Got my changes working! Full archives are showing up, plus a few changes to my links, a couple of additions and spacing changes. Let me know what you think. Thanks.

Damn I'm good. :)



Tuesday, March 11, 2003
 
I'M BACK
(my life update part 1)

Well, I'm back. Back home, back at work, back blogging. The past two weeks have been....... interesting, to say the least.
Friday, Feb. 28th we had a bunch of people over my parents' house, sort of like an Irish wake. My Uncle Alan and Aunt Jonnie had flown in from Texas for the wake and funeral. Since the house is only about 15 minutes from the Cleveland airport, myself and my Uncle Steve (who drove in from Dayton) went and picked them up when their flight got in. Uncle Alan has two sons, one a day older than me, Jason, and one 2 years younger, Justin. Since their father came in, they, along with Jason's wife, came over to the house also. My younger sister had a few friends in from out of town, so they were also over the house, plus a few of her friends from in town. And my older sister brought the twins over. So it was a rather packed house, about 20 people or so. The only one who really got drunk was my younger sister. When drunk, she has a tendency to be rather..... talkative (moreso than normal), and she also doesn't censor her thoughts as much, so she pretty much says *whatever* is on her mind at the time. It's quite amusing.
Mom's wake was on Sunday, March 1st, from 2pm to 8pm. And from about 2:20 till roughly 5:30 or so, I did nothing but stand in pretty much one spot and greet people who came to pay their respects. *Three* hours (if not longer) greeting a never ending line of people. I would look over at the door when someone came in, watch as they got in line, and then not see them till they got to me an hour later. For quite awhile, the line was actually stretching out the door of funeral home room. If I had to guess, I would say I saw maybe 300+ people that day. But it's just a guess. Could have easily been more. Shock of the day: Seeing the president and one of the teachers from my high school come. I graduated from Padua Franciscan H.S. in '94, my younger sister in '97. The president I never saw or talked to when I went there. Dunno about my sister. The teacher I never actually had for class, but saw around the halls. I think my sister had a class or two with him, or some activity or something. So towards the end of the evening, about 7:45ish, I'm standing near the doorway, talking to some people. I look up, see two men in the brown robes of Fransican brothers, and my jaw pretty much hits the floor. I'm actually caught speechless for a moment (not an easy thing to do). We've all heard the expression "The last people I expected to see" right? These two wouldn't have even made it on to the *list* of people I wouldn't have expected.
So that's the highlights of the wake.
Funeral was on Monday, March 2nd. If I had to guess, I'd say there were roughly 150 people there. Maybe more. Probably more. Mass was said by 7 priests and 2 deacons. For those unfamiliar with Catholic funeral masses, they're *almost always* said by just 1 priest. And for those that are held on a weekday morning like Mom's was, for the ones I've been to, the average is about 75-100 people show. I actually held up pretty well through it. The hardest part was when Dad gave the eulogy. There were a couple of moments in there that were...... not so easy, but for the most part things were okay. From those I've talked to, they've said Dad's eulogy was perfect.
As for the service at the cemetery. Didn't have it at the gravesite, since there was still snow on the ground. Other than that...... Ugh. I'm happier not repeating something like that for a long time.

That pretty much covers the.....aftermath/result/outcome of things. Next post (in the next day or so) covers a few other things from this past week. Too tired now.

(Oh yeah, before I forget: Happy now DearHeart? I posted.)