RAM: Random Access Mind

Where are we going to go today?

[:.CONTACT ME.:]
Any comments, questions or thoughts about the blog,
drop me a line.

[:.FAVORITE QUOTES.:]

8-11-03
"Since we no longer have the right to shoot trespassers on sight, we now reserve the right to viciously mock their clothes and haircuts. Until they cry and run home to their mommies. Long live the first amendment."
-Daniel Hill

2-5-04
"Maybe it's not the Grim Reaper. Maybe it's the Grim Rapper. Maybe it's just some guy that comes for ya and goes like 'Yo yo yo! It's time to go. You've lost all your fluids, your vitals sapped. Time to get ready for the big dirt nap.'"
-Robin Williams

2-19-04
"So Maine is cold. I think it was named Maine, which I believe is Indian for "Cold as your girlfriends feet in December". Pretty, but chilly."
-Melissa McCue

5-27-04
"If you try to take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a nonworking cat."
-Douglas Adams

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Brand new kitten! Brand new kitten!
(Changed 2-15-06)
Sunday, November 30, 2003
 
TRAINED MONKEYS
Is it too much to ask for some trained monkeys?

Not a lot. Just a couple.

Is that too much to ask for?



Wednesday, November 26, 2003
 
GOBBLE GOBBLE
Last post for the week. So anybody logging on Thursday or Friday to see something new are a little out of luck. I'll be back some time either Sunday or Monday.

Happy Turkey Day to every one!!

Eat all you want (but save room for desert)!



Tuesday, November 25, 2003
 
AH HA!
I just had a wonderful idea for a commercial this holiday season. It'll be for a popular brand of home/office computers, to the tune of a popular Christmas song.

We'll call it Carol of the Dells.



 
EEEWWWWWW!
This is just wrong on soooo many levels. Turkey and gravy flavored soda. Wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong! And might I add, eeewwwww!!

Yeah Melissa, I saw this first, then got your email. Nice to know we think along the same lines. :)



 
A SLIGHT DEPARTURE
Taking a slight departure here from the normal tone of this blog, and talking about something a bit more serious.

Some of you may or may not have heard this, but earlier in the year, the South African version of Sesame Street added a Muppet that was HIV-positive.

A news story earlier today announced that UNICEF was adding the Muppet, named Kami, as a spokesman (spokesMuppet?) about the topic.

My question is, about the Muppet in general not just the news story from today, will Kami eventually run the full course of the disease?
One day, will she go from being HIV-positive to actually having AIDS?
Will there be days when she can't play because she's too weak?
Will they (have they) dealt with her taking medication?
If/when a cure comes about, will she receive the cure? If so, how long till she receives it?

Just some of my random questions about it. I wish that I could actually see the show, just to see how they deal with this.



Thursday, November 20, 2003
 
I'VE FOUND IT!
I meant to post this a couple of weeks ago, when I first read the article, but didn't get around to it. So you're getting it now.

I have found the casket I want to be buried in.

A couple of weeks ago, MSN.com had an article (see link above) about funerals, and how, nowadays, people are doing things differently.

And then they provided me with the idea of what I want for my casket.

I think it goes well with the balloons I want, rather than flowers.



Tuesday, November 18, 2003
 
THEY SHOULD DO THIS MORE OFTEN
Got this in my daily newsletter, under the Weird New Of The Day section. Maybe more elections should be decided this way?

WASHINGTON TERRACE, Utah - Mark Allen has won his third term as mayor of Washington Terrace, Utah, thanks to a roll of the dice. He and challenger Robert Garside tied in a November fourth election with 724 votes each. Utah law says tie votes must be decided by drawing lots. Usually that means anything from flipping a coin to drawing a name out of a hat. But the city recorder says they felt that rolling dice was a more fair way to make a choice. So with a quick flick of their wrists, Allen rolled a four and a one Friday - beating Garside's roll of a pair of two's. Both candidates says they consider the outcome of the race fair. Washington Terrace is about 33 miles north of Salt Lake City.



Monday, November 17, 2003
 
ODD RANDOM THOUGHT
If Albert Einstein had done stand-up comedy, what would his material have been like?



Friday, November 14, 2003
 
OH, WHY NOT?
Been a little bit. Time for a new word association....

CHRISTMAS


(I'll probably be changing the comments text soon. Should I go with a holiday theme, or something else entirely?)



Thursday, November 13, 2003
 
'TIS THE SEASON...
Today, I got my first official confirmation that the Christmas season is upon us.

No, it's not the Christmas decorations everywhere. I've been seeing those since the beginning of October.

No, it's not the frigid winds and snow flurries that have been blowing through the Cleveland area for the past two days. (Side note. With all the howling wind, does it make a mime's job easier?)

No, it's not the ubiquitous, repetitive (and ultimately annoying) Christmas songs that get played on the radio over and over again. Those should be coming on, roughly, sometime at the end of next week.

No, my official confirmation that the Christmas season has descended occurred as I walking walking into the grocery store to pick up a couple of things before work. I'm maybe two dozen steps from the entrance, and I hear something. I look over across the street, and sure enough, there it is, accompanied by the familiar clang-alang-alang-alang-alang (sound effects vary upon location and vigorousness).

Ladies and gentlemen, the Salvation Army has arrived.

Soooo.... Merry Christmas everyone!
(Only 42 days 'till it's here.)



Wednesday, November 12, 2003
 
BAD?
Here at work, I was just walking past a cube where a couple of unused monitors are sitting. There was a new one added with a sticky note on top that just said BAD?
My response:
It's an okay album by Michael Jackson. Many prefer "Thriller" instead.

Remind me again why idle hands are the devil's workshop?



Tuesday, November 11, 2003
 
WHADDA YA THINK?
Just curious if anybody pays any attention to my revolving saying under QUOTH THE RAVEN.
Yes? No?
Seen any that you particularly like or find amusing?
(I currently have just under 60, and every so often add another one or two.)



Sunday, November 09, 2003
 
WHICH WAY DID HE GO? WHICH WAY DID HE GO?
I was fencing out in Kent on Saturday. Earlier in the week, Melissa (Hi there! How'd you do in saber, by the way?) had emailed me and asked if I was coming from Cleveland or from Columbus. The following was my response. It kind of sprang out of nowhere.

And now, the drive is near;
And so I face the final turn-in.
My friend, I'll say it clear,
I'll drive a pace, of which I'm certain.

I've got a tank that's full.
I'll travel the I-480 highway;
But more, much more than this,
I'm coming from my way!


It helps to picture as being sung by John Cleese like at the end of the George of the Jungle movie. (For those who haven't seen it, Cleese plays the Ape named Ape. The version of "My Way" is sort of a Vegas-like rock version.)



Sunday, November 02, 2003
 
WHEN GOOD SONGS GO BAD
Some of you may remember back at the beginning of the year, when I was pumping up the group Evanescence, and especially the song Bring Me To Life.
I was on my way home from work Thursday night when the song came on the air. Only it wasn't being performed by Evanescence. It was being performed by some woman (didn't hear her name). And it wasn't the normal version, with the driving, pounding instruments and the vocals with the right amount of intensity. Nope, it was some sort of breathy, torchy, lounge act, "artistic interpretation" version.
The lyrics are of someone who's dead inside, someone at their lowest point, someone with nowhere else to go but up, and they need help getting there. "Bring me to life. Wake me up inside. Save me from the nothing I've become." And with the original you feel that. You hear the desperation. You want to go up to the person and say "What do you need? What can I do?"
With this new version, this artsy-fartsy, "It's a popular song so I'm going to make a cover of it because I can" version, you want to go up to the person, poke 'em on the shoulder and go "Wake up. Time to get out of bed. You're alarm's been going off for ten minutes now. You're going to be late. The shower's free."

It's like Bring Me To Life Lite: 2/3 the lyrics, 1/3 the song.