Where are we going to go today?

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Any comments, questions or thoughts about the blog,
drop me a line.

[:.FAVORITE QUOTES.:]

8-11-03
"Since we no longer have the right to shoot trespassers on sight, we now reserve the right to viciously mock their clothes and haircuts. Until they cry and run home to their mommies. Long live the first amendment."
-Daniel Hill

2-5-04
"Maybe it's not the Grim Reaper. Maybe it's the Grim Rapper. Maybe it's just some guy that comes for ya and goes like 'Yo yo yo! It's time to go. You've lost all your fluids, your vitals sapped. Time to get ready for the big dirt nap.'"
-Robin Williams

2-19-04
"So Maine is cold. I think it was named Maine, which I believe is Indian for "Cold as your girlfriends feet in December". Pretty, but chilly."
-Melissa McCue

5-27-04
"If you try to take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a nonworking cat."
-Douglas Adams

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Comments by: YACCS

 
AAARGH!!!
Need to vent here, then I'm going to bed.
Tomorrow is my fencing club's annual picnic. I was going to try making some new type of cookie item for it. The cookie "thing" has got a pan-base layer of chocolate chip cookies, a layer of peanuts and caramel, and then rice crispie treats over the top. Except I didn't cook the chocolate chip cookie layer long enough, so that was screwed up, and also the rice crispies were stale. It's brand new box, bought last Friday and opened tonight. So the whole thing turned into a big disaster. ARGHH!!
I'm tired as hell too. I'm going to bed.

posted by Obee at 1:34 AM

 
RETURN OF.........
......The Totally Irrelevant Poll! (Drum Roll please......) For those who don't remember, the Totally Irrelevant Poll is something I started way back when on RASSM. I haven't done one in quite some time, so I thought I would do another one, for the hell of it. (If you would like to check out previous ones, they're in my archives.) And now, on with the questions:
1) Which one is cooler, vampires or werewolves?
2) If you could be the actor in *one* movie that’s been made, what movie and what part?
3) Which CD or CDs do you own that you now look at and think “Where was my brain when I bought this?”
4) If you could learn to play a musical instrument, what would it be? If you already know how to play one, pick a different one to learn.
5) Who put the bomp in the bompbabompbabomp?
6) Why?

A note on this:
#5 & #6 are not, repeat NOT related questions. They are seperate, stand alone questions.
It'll be interesting to see how many people answer #6 with the answer(s) I have in mind.

posted by Obee at 11:11 AM

 
JOTD
One Sunday morning, the priest noticed Little Johnny was staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. It was covered with names, and small American flags were mounted on either side of it.
The seven-year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the priest walked up, stood beside the boy, and said quietly, "Good morning, Little Johnny."
"Good morning, Father," replied the young man, still focused on the plaque.
"Father Scott, what is this?" Little Johnny asked.
"Well, son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service."
Soberly, they stood together, staring at the large plaque.
Little Johnny's voice was barely audible when he asked, "Which service, the 9:45 or the 11:15?"


posted by Obee at 11:40 AM

 
JOTD

MOSES AND THE COMPUTER
"Excuse me, Sir."
"Is that you again, Moses?"
"I'm afraid it is, sir."
"What is it this time, Moses? More computer problems?"
"How did you guess?
"I don't have to guess, Moses. Remember?"
"Oh, yeah. I forgot."
"Tell me what you want, Moses."
"But you already know. Remember?"
"Moses!"
"Sorry, sir."
"Well, go ahead, Moses. Spit it out."
"Well, I have a question, sir. You know those 'ten things' you sent me?"
"You mean the Commandments, Moses?"
"That's it. I was wondering if they were important."
"What do you mean 'were important', Moses? Of course, they're important. Otherwise I wouldn't have sent them to you."
"Well, sorry, but I lost them. I could say the dog ate them, but of course you would see right through that."
"What do you mean 'you lost them'? Are you trying to tell me you didn't save them, Moses?"
"No, sir. I forgot."
"You should always save, Moses."
"Yeah, I know. You told me that before. I was going to, but I forgot. I did send them to some people before I lost them though."
"And did you hear back from any of them?"
"You already know I did. What about the one guy who said he never uses 'shalt not'? Can he change the words a little bit?"
"Yes, Moses. As long as he doesn't change the meaning."
"And what about the guy who thought your stance was a little harsh, and recommended calling them the 'Ten Suggestions,' or letting people pick one or two to try for a while?"
"Moses, I'll act like I didn't hear that."
"I think that means 'no.' Well, what about the guy who said I was scamming him?"
"I think the term is 'spamming,' Moses."
"Oh, yeah. I e-mailed him back and told him I don't even eat that stuff, and I have no idea how you can send it to someone through a computer."
"And what did he say?"
"You know what he said. He used Your name in vain. You don't think he might have sent me one of those - er - plagues, and that's the reason I lost those ten things, do you?"
"They're called 'viruses,' Moses."
"Whatever! This computer stuff is just too much for me. Can we just go back to those stone tablets? It was hard on my back taking them out and reading them each day, but at least I never lost them."
"We'll do it the new way, Moses."
"I was afraid you would say that, sir."
"Moses, what did I tell you to do if you messed up?"
"You told me to hold up this rat and stretch it out toward the computer."
"It's a mouse, Moses. Mouse! Mouse! And did you do that?"
"No, I decided to try the technical support first. After all, who knows more about this stuff than you, and I really like your hours. By the way, sir, did Noah have two of these mice on the ark?"
"No, Moses."
"One other thing. Why didn't you name them 'frogs' instead of 'mice,' because didn't you tell me the thing they sit on is a pad?"
"I didn't name them, Moses. Man did, and you can call yours a frog if you want to."
"Oh, that explains it. Kind of like Adam, huh, sir? Bet some woman told him to call it a mouse. After all, wasn't it a woman who named one of the computers Apple?"
"Say good night, Moses."
"Wait a minute, sir. I am stretching out the mouse, and it seems to be working. Yes, a couple of the 'ten things' have come back."
"Which ones are they, Moses?"
"Let's see....
'Thou shalt not steal from any grave an image' and 'Thou shalt not uncover thy neighbor's wife.'"
"Turn the computer off, Moses. I'm sending you another set of stone tablets."

posted by Obee at 12:28 AM

 
HIKE!!
Did something a little more interesting than usual on Saturday night. For the first time in I don't remember how many years, I actually went to a football game. I think the last time might have been something like 6 or 7 years ago, when I went to a homecoming game with my ex. I went and saw the Browns play their first home game for the year. Pre-season game, of course. It was against the Detroit Lions, and we won 24-23. All in all, not too bad of a game. But I'm glad I won the tickets, cause there's no way I would have paid for them. According the face value of the ticket, they were $100 each. They were supposed to be the "club" seats. The seats were even with the end line, where the goal posts are. We were in section 329, so we we're not even close down to the field. The seats themselves were a rather hard plastic, kind of small, uncomfortable overall. The concession area was the only thing that was kinda maybe sorta somewhat worth it, but not really. On second thought, not even kinda maybe sorta somewhat. The only thing good about the concession area is that it was nicer than any others ones I've ever been to. It had carpeting, and was enclosed, so there was no smoking. The prices were still the outragous overcharge that you get anywhere else at the stadium, though. All in all, it was an okay game, but with 'eennhh' seats.

posted by Obee at 2:12 PM

 
JOTD
Sunday after Mass, Fr. O'Shea comes down from the pulpit and sees one of his parishoners crying.
"Why Mary, whatever is the matter?" he asks.
"It's my husband. He died last night."
"I'm so sorry to hear that. Did he have any last requests?"
"Yes, he did."
"What were they, if I may ask?"
"He said 'Mary, please, put down that gun.'"

posted by Obee at 11:58 PM

 
ODD RANDOM THOUGHT
If you want to have some fun and confuse the hell out of some people, next time you're in a bookstore, go up to one of the employees and ask for the "large-print" audio books. When they take you to the regular audio books section, insist that those are the wrong ones.

posted by Obee at 9:41 PM

 
NEWS OF THE TWINS
Update on the baby front. My sister went to the doctor today. Apparently, both twins are at full size. Well, full size for the stage of developement they're in. As I kind of understand it, twins are usually smaller in the womb then just a single birth. Not these two, I guess. :) So if things continue down this road, by my best guess, we should have 2 little ones roughly 20-22 inches when born and about 7-8 pounds. Ladies (especially those who've given birth) this is about average, correct?

posted by Obee at 12:50 AM

 
JOTD
A lawyer died and arrived at the Pearly Gates.
Saint Peter asked him, "What have you done to merit entrance into Heaven?"
The lawyer thought a moment, then said, "A week ago, I gave a quarter to a homeless person on the street."
Saint Peter asked Gabriel to check this out in the records, and after a moment Gabriel affirmed that it was true.
Saint Peter said, "Well , that's fine, but it's not really quite enough to get you into Heaven."
The Lawyer said, "Wait, wait! There's more! Three years ago, I also gave a homeless person a quarter."
Saint Peter nodded to Gabriel, who, after a moment, nodded back to affirm that it was true.
Saint Peter then whispered to Gabriel, "Well, what do you suggest we do with this fellow?"
Gabriel gave the lawyer a sidelong glance, then said to Saint Peter, "Let's give him back his 50 cents and tell him to go to Hell."


posted by Obee at 12:44 AM

 
JOKE OF THE DAY aka JOTD
I get a lot of jokes in email. I've also got a list or two that I get ones from pretty much daily. I'll post some of the better ones when I get them, or some of the older ones I have.

Dog Pet Peeves About Humans
(Note, I don't own a dog, but I thought these were too good to pass up.)

1. When you run away in the middle of a perfectly good leg humping.
2. Blaming your farts on me...not funny.
3. Yelling at me for barking...I'M A DOG YOU IDIOT!!
4. How you naively believe that the stupid cat isn't all over everything while you're gone. (Have you noticed that your toothbrush tastes a little like cat butt?)
5. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?
6. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose...stop it.
7. Yelling at me for rubbing my ass on your carpet. Why'd you buy carpet?
8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet...idiot.
9. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth, you're just jealous.
10. Dog sweaters. Have you noticed the fur? Imbecile.
11. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your shit up when you're not home.
12. When you pick up the crap piles in the yard. Do you realize how far behind schedule that puts me?
13. Taking me to the vet for "the big snip", then acting surprised when I freak out everytime we go back.
14. The slight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! What a proud moment for the top of the food chain, you nitwit.
15. Invisible fences. Why do you insist on screwing with us? To my knowledge, dogdom hasn't yet solved the visible fence problem!!

posted by Obee at 3:12 AM

 
WHOA!
Yes, it's amazing!! I'm updating my blog! I know, I know, I said I would do it more often. Ooops. Time and things just got away from me.

This past week I've been wiping myself out again. We've had another beginning fencing camp that I was helping out with. So by Friday I was close to a zombie. I didn't even really get a chance to recover some either, because Saturday I got up at 7:30 am. A bunch of us from the club went to the Great Lakes Renaissance Faire, which was a lot of fun. And next week, I get to zombiefy myself again. The club is having an advanced fencing camp that I'm actually participating in, so I should be even more wiped out next Friday.
And my personal situation isn't helping any of this. A couple of weeks ago, the doctors decided to put my mom on oxygen to help with her breathing. Originally, it was just supposed to be "as needed." Well, it turns out that "as needed" happens to be all the time. Not good. And this past week the situation took a turn for the worse. Apparently, her pain levels have been getting rather high. So they decided to check her into a hospice facility to help bring them under control. Only it hasn't helped much. They checked her in on Monday night, saying it should only be about 3-5 days, meaning she should be out by the weekend. Yeah right. Well, it's Sunday, and they're not quite sure about when she's going to come out. The thing is, they've got her on so much morphine and other painkillers, it's making her groggy and disoriented. So who the hell knows what the situation is there, or when it's going to improve. Hopefully some time this week.

posted by Obee at 5:16 PM